i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
