Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
