why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
