# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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