whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize