Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
