do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize