its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
