I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
