4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
