they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it glows. i had to have it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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