maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
