Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
