what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
