I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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