Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
