Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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