I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
