so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
