If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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