what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
