I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize