I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I currently don't understand fingers.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
