Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
