Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
