sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
