why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
