Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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