I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
