the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
