Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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