im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
