So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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