oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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