Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
