I seem to have left my pride at pride
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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