FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
