you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's shark week go big or go home
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
