sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
