The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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