Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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