the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
