I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
