I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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