I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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