I think I am morally bankrupt
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
