you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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