so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
