It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
