I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
