apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
