shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
