Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
