Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
