I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
birth control should be required to get into college
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
