Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
