Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
